Bagels
by Stacymc2012
Summary: This is what happens when our Helen doesn't much sleep for three weeks… The characters are.. In character, it's just a rather… Just read! Lol! AU! Both Ashley and Kate are in this story and Nikola still has his powers.


**Summary:** This is what happens when our Helen doesn't much sleep for three weeks… or more... The characters are.. In character, it's just a rather… Just read! Lol! AU! Both Ashley and Kate are in this story and Nikola still has his powers.

**Pairing:** John/Helen (sorta)

**Author's Note:** Okay, so, it was 12am+ when my Mikki and I wrote this. We were both exhausted beyond belief, extremely deprived of sleep and slightly high on sugar and well, this was the beautiful, odd product of it all. Uhm… The characters are in characters, however, it's the situation itself that is rather.. Odd… Or extremely odd…. Ahh, you guys shall see. Enjoy!

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**Bagels**

It was 5am when Helen called her employees to her office for an "urgent" meeting. Nikola had been the first one there for two reasons: he never slept anyway and he loved bothering Helen, especially in the wee hours of the morning; mostly the latter. He walked in and sat down on one of the couches and made himself comfortable, putting his feet up on the coffee table. Helen was getting up from her desk and walked over to stand in the middle of her office, facing the door to wait for the others to get there, and standing several feet away from Nikola.

"Nikola, get your feet off of my coffee table, that is not why I called you in here!" Helen sighed and glared at the vampire.

Nikola scoffed haughtily, but he rested his feet down on the floor and crossed his arms in a gentlemanly manner, "Pushy today, are we?"

"Be quiet, Nikola." Helen replied, giving him her '_This is my house and you will obey my rules' _look.

"Alright, alright, fine." He cut his eyes at her and got his feet off her table, "Some wine at least do you have to offer, oh... Mighty hostess."

"Nikola!" She snapped.

"Are you PMSing, Helen? Do you even PMS anymore? You know... You being 160yrs old and all..."

Magnus didn't reply, but almost seemed to emit a very low like growl. Or maybe he was just imagining it. Ah well, she was pissed either way - he could tell - and that meant his goal for the day was achieved.

"Are you finished with your childish games now, Nikola?" She glared to him.

He waved a 'yeah yeah' hand at her, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, moving along then..." She watched as the rest of the "team" walked in, most half asleep... Given that she had woken them up at 5am and well... Nikola never slept, so he didn't count.

"This_ better _be important, Mom." Ashley said, half-groaning as she stretched and collapsed on the couch next to Kate, who was already falling back to sleep.

"It is... Quite important actually... We're out of bagels." She bit her lip.

Everyone in the room blinked, even Kate woke up to exclaim a flustered, "WHAT?"

"We are out of bagels." She said plainly and blinked. This was a big deal! She NEEDED bagels! She had the worse craving EVER for them.

"You..." Will started, slowly, patiently and through slightly gritted-teeth, "Woke us all up...at five in the morning...To tell us...That we're out of _bagels_?"

"I am going to _kill_ John if he got you pregnant." Ashley said through gritted teeth.

John just blinked, "Wait, what? Why do you always assume that it's my fault? Why are we jumping to said conclusions?"

"Because you're her... Crossed star lover." Kate said, yawning at the pause.

"And you're also Jack the Ripper..." Will chimed in as if it had anything to do with anything.

Kate facepalmed and replied half asleep, "Which is what makes him her crossed star lover..."

"Guys!" Helen said suddenly, "Back to the bagels!"

You could tell they were all asleep just by the conversation they were having. It was like when you are woken up in the middle of the night and you are just delirious that most of the things that come out of your mouth makes no sense whatsoever because you are just so tired and still asleep. The randomness of the conversation and what is said can only be said if: you're half asleep, high or on painkillers.

"Uh..Boss..." Henry said for the first time since he sat down in the office, "Why couldn't you just...you know...get 'em yourself?"

"I...uhm... I can't find my car keys..." She made a face, looking embarrassed, "I forgot where I put them..."

"Weirdest. Boss. EVER!" Kate groaned, again. Because she was Kate, she was allowed to get away with comments such as these without a chastising from said weird boss. It was true, after all.

"Can we go back to bed now? Tell Tesla to get 'em.." Will waved off with a sigh.

Magnus blinked, "No we may NOT just "Go back to bed"! This is a serious matter! We need bagels! And Tesla never buys the right ones!"

"Hey! Don't bring me into this mess! Get your own bagels." He was playing with electricity through his fingers.

"Darling...is this really necessary at this hour?" John asked her, keeping all frustration and annoyance out of his voice. He knew Helen long enough to know that simple matters such as these were not to be taken lightly…; especially when she was having one of her..._days_. The thought somehow echoing between men, made John and Nikola shudder in remembrance.

"Yes, John... I reeally, really, really want bagels. You do not understand.." She nearly begged and looked like she would cry if she did not get her bagels!

John sighed in defeat, and then looked at the others, "She won't stop until she gets them."

She sniffed, "I need bagels..."

John couldn't help but hug her close, "I know love, I know you do." He looked to the others and said in a compassionate, soft tone, sighing, "She needs bagels..."

"They're BOTH crazy!" Kate said, throwing her hands up in the air. Ashley had her face in a pillow, groaning, "I have the weirdest parents ever!" Over and over again.

Nikola sighed, "He's right, though."

Will blinked, "I... Is this really _just_ about bagels? Is it really?"

John and Nikola simultaneously replied, nodding, "Yes."

"How?" He blinked.

Nikola gave him a look, "William, I think it would be best if we would kindly just shut out mouths and get milady what she desires," Nikola scoffed, and added, "It's our day job anyways, this shouldn't be so difficult."

"But they're… Bagels! This is ridiculous!"

"It is _not_ ridiculous!" Helen said, still cradled in John's arms.

Will frowned, _Okay, either they've all finally lost it from old age, ooooor Magnus has been poisoned with some sort of hallucinogen_.

"I am not poisoned!" "She is not poisoned!" Both she and John said at the same time.

He put his chin on her head and rubbed her back, kissing her hair, "Do not worry love, I understand you..."

"Thank you, John," Helen said softly as she cuddled into his embrace.

Rolling his eyes at the pair, Nikola took initiative, "Look, kiddies, if we want the boss lady to be happy, we must do her bidding, no matter how insane-" "Oi!" "-it sounds." With the unresponsive looks from Kate, Ashley, Will, and even Henry, Nikola sighed. This was like telling children to do their chores, "Sooner we get the bagels, sooner we get back to bed." He said, finally.

Again, Will blinked, opened his mouth then closed it again, "...Right." Henry sighed, "Let's just get this over with..." And they all left.

John smiled, "I know, darling, I understand," and kissed her. Nikola rolled his eyes, having gotten used to their actions, for lack of a better word, decades ago. Literally.

"Thank you." She kissed him again and held him tighter.

"Let's get you some tea, hmm?" He smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Helen grinned, "Mmm, that would be lovely, John." As they walked out, John turned his head around to give Nikola a 'You are NOT leaving me alone with her!' look. Nikola scoffed silently as if to say 'You're on your own, Johnny!' John glared, and Nikola got up to follow, muttering to himself.

The three of them walked into the elevator, and Nikola said, "Helen, do you remember what happens after several weeks when you become...for lack of a better term...sleep deprived?"

"I am not sleep deprived, Nikola! I'm just... Tired!" She blinked, "I slept last night!"

Nikola scoffed, "A ten minute power nap is _not_ considered "sleep", Helen. You should know that, being the "brilliant" doctor that you are."

Helen glared at him, "What is the point you are trying to get at, Nikola?"

"This happens at least once a month, Helen, you don't sleep at all for, who knows how long. Then, after you _actually do_ get some _really_ sleep - you become...err... rather…." He explained but then fumbled a bit to find the right word.

"I become _what_?" Helen crossed her arms.

"Erratic?" He tried, but then quickly added, "I say it with love!"

Helen pouted, "John, is that true?"

"Of course not, love!" He hugged her and rubbed her back then glared at Tesla, who looked away, innocently, whistling.

She shook her head, "No, no, he's right... I just asked my team to get me _bagels_ for heaven's sake… At 5am! I don't know..." she trailed off, "Then again, I really do want bagels..."

"Are you sure you're just pregnant? If it's "not sleep deprivation"?" Nikola rolled his eyes then paused, "Can you still have kids anyway? You know... The whole age thing..." He was really enjoying bothering her this particular morning.

John and Helen whipped around and looked at him, both glaring. Oh if looks could kill a vampire! "Nikola!" They both screamed.

Nikola grinned a bit, "Shh! It's 5am, do you _want_ to wake everyone up?"

The elevator landed and Nikola was first to walk out, holding his head up high, a certain proud sway to his step. A sleep deprived Helen and slightly confused John just followed, being used to Nikola antics by now…Somewhat…

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**Yes, I am well aware that we probably had too much fun with this, LOL! I do, really, wish to know your thoughts on this story. Thank you for reading! Review please? :)**


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